Choosing a Roommate 101: 10 Questions to Reveal Red Flags

When you need a roommate for that last bedroom in the perfect potential off-campus home, it’s a tricky situation. You don’t want to pass up living in a primo uptown apartment, but you also don’t want to accidentally invite a young Ted Bundy type to live with you. Obviously, every single person asking to be your roommate is going to tell you they’re chill, quiet, clean, on time with bills, etc. But are they, though?

Here are 10 questions that can help you suss out the psychos so you don’t end up living with one:

1. What’s your daily routine look like?

This will help you see if your schedules would mesh well living together and will also give you an idea of what they’ve got going on in life. You don’t want someone with a night shift if you’re someone who sleeps early and gets up even earlier.

2. How often do you expect to have guests?

You don’t want to move in with someone only to realize they’re the neighborhood go-to for parties, or that they’re going to have their partner over 24/7 and you’re actually letting two people move in.

3. What’s your source of income?

How are they going to pay the bills? Do they have a steady job? Payments from parents? What’s their job history like? It’s dangerous to take a chance on a roommate that doesn’t have a clear and up front answer about money.

4. How often do you clean?

People are likely to overestimate how much they clean, so poke around with additional questions about what they clean and how, as well as if they have pet peeves about things being messy or dirty. And make sure you relay what standards you’ll expect should they move in.

5. Can I talk to any previous roommates or landlords?

Is it a little intrusive? Maybe. But you’re signing papers with this person – anyone who isn’t super sketchy should completely understand and agree with this request.

6. Hypothetically, how would you have the bills split?

Yes, it’s a lot of finance questions, but it’s a huge part of renting an off-campus apartment! Potential roommates should be able to talk about this stuff, because you definitely will be if they become your actual roommate.

7. What do you think about how household resources are split/shared?

Some people are down for loose reciprocity on necessities and open territory in the fridge. Others want a label on everything and will ask you to Venmo them $1 for those 2 chicken nuggets you ate off their plate earlier. Know which one you’re talking to before you decide to live with them.

8. What are you looking for in a shared living situation?

Do they want to be friends or just cohabitants? Do they want to do chores together or divvy everything up? Get an idea of what their personal roommate culture is like.

9. What are your pet peeves when sharing a house?

You know you’ve got your own – see what theirs are. If you have the same pet peeves, there’s a good chance you’ll gel well as roommates.

10. A Deal-Breaker Question

We’ve all got things we just aren’t okay with. Maybe you’re a vegan and don’t want a roommate who cooks meat in the house. Values about social acceptance and equity are a hot point for a lot of people. Does everyone’s religions/spirituality gel? If there’s something you know you can’t stand, full stop, make sure you ask before you agree to let someone move in.

Bonus Tips for Weeding Out a Weak Roommate

Other things you should think about in your roommate search:

  • Think about your expectations for a roommate at the start of your search so you know what you are (and aren’t) looking for.
  • Creep on their social media – obviously. Insta, FB, X, … OnlyFans – you can tell a lot about a person’s views, values and lifestyle through socials.
  • Use a roommate agreement to make sure everyone knows what’s expected of everyone else in the apartment re: cleaning, bills, groceries, sharing, etc.

Picking a stranger as a roommate is never a sure thing – you’d have never known your best friend in the world hoards candles in their closet if you’d never lived with them. People are weird. But with these helpful tips, you can at least up the chances of choosing the perfect person to cohabitate with in that awesome OU apartment you’ve been eyeing.

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